Little Lithuanian, a song composed for my stepmother in 1979

by | May 12, 2018 | Memoir, Poetry, Resilient Ruin, Reversible Skirt | 4 comments

While trying to go to sleep a while ago, I thought of a song I wrote for my stepmother back in 1979. Titled Little Lithuanian, it hasn’t crossed my mind for at least a decade. Isn’t it strange what surfaces when you’re not quite ready to drift off?

My stepmother was abusive. If you’ve read either of my memoirs, Reversible Skirt and Resilient Ruin, you’ll likely recall what kind of parent she was. Even now I sometimes find it unfathomable why she behaved so horribly.

Wouldn’t it be a better world if all parents chose to follow the Hippocratic Oath and first do no harm?

A troubled soul, my stepmother did the opposite.

She was primarily Lithuanian with a little
Polish and Russian thrown in. My sisters and I are mostly Irish, with a bit of German. She was just under 5 feet tall; I’m 5 feet 7 inches, and my sisters are even taller. She was shrill; we are quiet, too quiet. I don’t know if ethnicity had anything to do with how poorly we mixed, but whatever the reasons, we were not of the same ilk. Nevertheless, my overriding feelings for my long-deceased abuser are those of forgiveness.

Here are the lyrics:

 

Little Lithuanian

Little Lithuanian
A babushka
Blowin’ in the breeze
Gets my knees tremblin’
For memories
Within me
Within me

You gathered dandelions
For our salad
Early in the day
I’d walk away laughin’
As my friends would say
She is strange
She is strange

Little Lithuanian
Tired peasant
Through the rust of years
Let your fears go now
I will dry your tears
Love is here
Love is here

 

Laura McHale, 1979

 

Photo of leprechauns by Enda Guinan
Photo of babushka dolls by Paul Keller
Photo of woman wearing babushka by christheobscure

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4 Comments

  1. Marie

    Great forgiveness work, Laura. Love your books.

  2. Laura

    Thank you, Marie! It’s such a pleasure to hear from you. I can’t wait till you publish your fascinating and so well-crafted fantasy series.

  3. Mary Ellen Gambutti

    Ah, Laura, why do some mothers not understand the abuse they inflict? I was adopted, and although I feel my mother tried to love me, she verbally and physically abused me at times.
    Like you, I now forgive her–94 in a nursing home.

  4. Laura

    I’m sorry you had to live through that as a beautiful adn vulnerable young child deserving of far better. It’s such a good feeling to let go and forgive, though, isn’t it? Hugs to you, Mary Ellen. I’ve been following your posts on Facebook about the little online lit pubs that have accepted your stories and am happy for you.

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